The Path of Evil

"Yes, I have walked along the path of evil many times. It's a twisting, curving path, that actually leads to a charming block garden, but beyond that evil!" -Kevin McDonald playing Satan in the Kids In The Hall

I  am beginning a journey... a journey that will most certainly lead me to evil, a journey to find the worst movie of all time.  "Why?" you ask  Well, let me cryptically try to explain:  to my mind there is way too much time spent on the "best" movies; they get Oscars, SAG awards, A.R.D.s, but to me those movies are the Bachelor Gulch, the Ferrari, the 7 karat wedding ring of the movie world: fantastic to look at but far from attainable to the common man.  I think we need to spend more time focusing on what the rest of us can relate to: the drunken beer goggle, artificially inflated ego, idiot blue collar working man of the movie world. 

In these modern times, I know that we don't all have time to sift through Manos: Hands of Fate and Battlefield Earth to get to the gigantic train wreck of a movie that I know we're all secretly looking.  It's O.K.  Let me be your guide down this dangerous, although comically entertaining, path of evil.  There will be, most certainly, a few charming block gardens along the way, as Kevin McDonald notes in the quote above, but for the most part I expect mostly evil... pure evil.

To help us along our journey, I compiled five lists of the worst movies of all time: IMDB, Wikipedia, Ranker.com, Flickrchart.com, and Achilles 1313's fabulous list on ebaum's world and cross referenced them to find those that made all five lists.  Truthfully, all of these movies consistently made all of the lists and therefore must be universally bad.  Without further ado, here is my list (in no particular order):

Battle Field Earth

Catwoman

Eegah

Troll 2

Gigli

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Glen or Glenda

Showgirls

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

The Creeping Terror

Manos: Hands of Fate

Howard The Duck

From Justin To Kelly

Hobgoblins

The Room

The Beast of Yucca Flats

Robot Monster

Zombie Nation

Batman & Robin

Crossover

Kazaam

Glitter

The Incredibly Strange Creatures

Leonard Part 6

In the event that any of these gems are unavailable for my viewing pleasure, here are the backup candidates:

Hillbillys In A Haunted House

They Saved Hitler's Brain

Crawling Hand

Monster A-Go-Go

Alone In The Dark

Your reward for coming along with me down this path will be a viewing party upon completion of all the movies, complete with kegs of beer, good food, and the worst movie of all time.. viewed first sober and in complete silence and second in a partially inebriated, MST3K, community jeer fest.

Let the suck begin.