Entry #11: Glen or Glenda?

Glen or Glenda?  Are those my only two options?

What better way to get back into the bad movie stream than with a nice dip in the swirling morass that is Ed Wood.  It’s been over 3 years since my last post and a lot has changed since Kazaam, namely I am 3 years sober.  I guess not being drunk took the allure off of watching bad movies.  I mean, who in their right mind would watch Superbabies, Baby Geniuses 2 sober?  BUT.. I started a project and I aim to finish it. 

Real quick note here on my original list of candidates:  in addition to me getting sober, other things have changed in the last 3 years: namely, Bill Cosby has shown himself to be less than deserving of getting any royalty money from me so I will be taking Leonard Part 6 off the last and replacing it with Alligator, which was recommended by my friend Ken and has a fun backstory that you will get to hear soon enough.

Enough tip-toeing on the banks, let’s jump right into the Ed Wood eddy. 

At first glance, a 68 minute movie seems right up my alley because, as my wife will attest, I can’t stay awake for any movie that is either 1) boring; or 2) over 100 minutes long.  Unfortunately, Glen or Glenda is 68 minutes of uncomfortableness.  It is uncomfortable to the point where I checked the clock thinking that it was surely almost over and found, much to my chagrin, that only 48 minutes had past.  Distilled down to its core, the movie is actually only about 35 minutes of plot and then 33 minutes of crazy filler scenes and Bela Lugosi spewing nonsense. 

The story part of Glen or Glenda? is basically a plea by Ed Wood for acceptance of the transvestite community.  Our protagonist, Glen, is engaged to Barbara and can’t decide if he should tell her about his alter-ego, Glenda, out of fear of losing her.  That’s about it.  There are some scenes with a police investigator and a doctor where the doctor tries to explain the causes and societal implications of cross-dressing, but it does nothing to advance the plot.

Speaking of doing nothing to advance the plot, Bela Lugosi’s scenes are filmed elsewhere and are of him basically slurring nonsense or repeating dialogue from other parts of the movie from a grandpa chair in a poorly lit room.  There are also some b-grade “grindhouse” scenes of women being tied up on a couch, the devil tormenting Glen (I think), and a SUPER uncomfortable rape scene.  All of these sidebars are clearly just filler to make the short public service announcement into something long enough to call a “movie”. 

In the end, Barbara does accept Glen because she loves him and the doctor meets with them both to help Glen move past Glenda and into a loving marriage.  Hooray!

This “movie” is terrible, I will not defend the quality, the acting, the random non-sequitur scenes, and Bela Lugosi’s rants.  However, it is a plea for acceptance for those who don’t fit into society’s norms; a tall task for 2016, much less 1958.  So while I can hate the movie, I can’t hate the message.  It’d be like asking me to pick my least favorite flag and throwing the rainbow flag into my options: even if I did hate the way it looked, I couldn’t pick it because it has become a symbol of tolerance and acceptance.  Thus, I can’t put Glen or Glenda? in the same category as Battlefield Earth, Troll 2, or They Saved Hitler’s Brain.    Suberbabies and Gigli on the other hand, I can lump it there.  I give it a -3.  Dress however you want, I don’t care, just don’t make me do it and don’t make me watch this again. 

It seemed like a good idea to get back into researching and sorting through my bad movie list, but as Barbara so eloquently put it “…the end of studies is only the beginning of reality..” and the reality of Glen or Glenda? has me rethinking my studies.