Release Date: July 22, 1959
Budget: $475,000
I'm sure most people are fully versed in the plot of this movie, so I'll try to get such explanations brief: Plan 9 begins with Criswell and his wickedly curly hair, setting the stage for the plot and delivering this classic line:
"Can Your Heart Stand The Shocking Facts of Grave Robbers from Outer Space!?", which actually sums up the movie pretty well. My guess is the answer to Criswell's question is "no". I do find it interesting that all bad movies seem to have a narrator to help the audience understand their confusing plots and Plan 9 is no different; Criswell and his curl frequently chime in throughout the movie to lessen the confusion.
The first thing I noticed about Plan 9 (relative to previous movies in this blog) is that Ed Wood clearly understood how to use a camera. The filming is remarkably better than both Creeping Terror and Hitler's Brain and the audio actually matches the mouths: crazy! They even add walking sounds in post-editing in the initial scene. Granted, there are time continuity problems about every 5 minutes (someone walking in the daylight, transitioning to the dead of night), but at least it's a well filmed terrible transition. Even the scenes that are clearly a styrofoam UFO hanging from a string are well lit and well shot, which probably adds to the comedy of these scenes; perhaps if it was grainy and jumpy (ala Creeping Terror) we wouldn't have been able to see the string!
Despite the fact that the plot is terribly confusing and weird, I think I actually kind of get it. In fact the movie and Criswell tend to explain themselves too much. Aliens try to save the humans from themselves and from destroying the universe. At first they tried peaceful means but humans are too stubborn and shoot at the aliens with their big guns. Finally, the aliens have to resort to "Plan 9", which involves raising the recently dead with an injection into the pituitary gland to raise them and kill all the other evil humans. All in all, Plan 9 seems like a pretty good plan because the aliens can start it in motion and then just let Earth kill itself as they watch from a distance... and they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling Jeff Trent.
We are introduced to our hero, Jeff Trent, shortly after a UFO on a string interrupts a commercial airline flight. Jeff Trent is the pilot of said commercial flight and tries to alert mankind to the impending dangers but, not surprising, he is "muzzled by Army brass!!!" The "Army brass" is none other than the aloof and stoic Colonel Tom Edwards, who reluctantly admits that aliens have been a problem for a long time and have recently attacked a U.S. Town. I'm not sure which side is telling the truth here but, if I had to guess, I would guess the humans because aliens are jerks.
When we finally meet the aliens, they look suspiciously like humans only in silky one-piece alien "uniforms". Another thing that differentiates from them is their crazy names, like "Eros". Ultimately, the silk-clad aliens only succeed in raising three recently dead: a woman (played by Vampira), her husband "Old Man" (played by Bela Lugosi before he died during filming and Ed Wood after Lugosi died), and a super fat Detective Daniel Clay (played by Greg D.). They proceed to wreak havoc in and around the cemetery near Jeff Trent's house.
"Can Your Heart Stand The Shocking Facts of Grave Robbers from Outer Space!?", which actually sums up the movie pretty well. My guess is the answer to Criswell's question is "no". I do find it interesting that all bad movies seem to have a narrator to help the audience understand their confusing plots and Plan 9 is no different; Criswell and his curl frequently chime in throughout the movie to lessen the confusion.
The first thing I noticed about Plan 9 (relative to previous movies in this blog) is that Ed Wood clearly understood how to use a camera. The filming is remarkably better than both Creeping Terror and Hitler's Brain and the audio actually matches the mouths: crazy! They even add walking sounds in post-editing in the initial scene. Granted, there are time continuity problems about every 5 minutes (someone walking in the daylight, transitioning to the dead of night), but at least it's a well filmed terrible transition. Even the scenes that are clearly a styrofoam UFO hanging from a string are well lit and well shot, which probably adds to the comedy of these scenes; perhaps if it was grainy and jumpy (ala Creeping Terror) we wouldn't have been able to see the string!
Despite the fact that the plot is terribly confusing and weird, I think I actually kind of get it. In fact the movie and Criswell tend to explain themselves too much. Aliens try to save the humans from themselves and from destroying the universe. At first they tried peaceful means but humans are too stubborn and shoot at the aliens with their big guns. Finally, the aliens have to resort to "Plan 9", which involves raising the recently dead with an injection into the pituitary gland to raise them and kill all the other evil humans. All in all, Plan 9 seems like a pretty good plan because the aliens can start it in motion and then just let Earth kill itself as they watch from a distance... and they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling Jeff Trent.
We are introduced to our hero, Jeff Trent, shortly after a UFO on a string interrupts a commercial airline flight. Jeff Trent is the pilot of said commercial flight and tries to alert mankind to the impending dangers but, not surprising, he is "muzzled by Army brass!!!" The "Army brass" is none other than the aloof and stoic Colonel Tom Edwards, who reluctantly admits that aliens have been a problem for a long time and have recently attacked a U.S. Town. I'm not sure which side is telling the truth here but, if I had to guess, I would guess the humans because aliens are jerks.
When we finally meet the aliens, they look suspiciously like humans only in silky one-piece alien "uniforms". Another thing that differentiates from them is their crazy names, like "Eros". Ultimately, the silk-clad aliens only succeed in raising three recently dead: a woman (played by Vampira), her husband "Old Man" (played by Bela Lugosi before he died during filming and Ed Wood after Lugosi died), and a super fat Detective Daniel Clay (played by Greg D.). They proceed to wreak havoc in and around the cemetery near Jeff Trent's house.
At long last, Colonel Tom Edwards and Jeff Trent (with the help of some half-whit beat cops) attack the alien ship parked in the cemetery near Jeff's house. Colonel Tom and Jeff overtake Eros and kill all of the Plan 9 experiments, but not before Eros goes on a rant about "juvenile human minds", "preserving the universe", and something about god; it actually reminded me a lot of a democratic party debate. The aliens finally get their burning ship off the ground but blow up trying to return to space (no surprise as the woman alien was driving).
Criswell returns to remind us that there are still aliens out there and may even be walking among us given their significant technological advances, as proven by Plan 9. Criswell is most certainly right; I'm pretty sure there are 2 or 3 aliens working in my office and at least one former human who has been recently raised from the dead.
I give Plan 9 a final rating of -8: It is pretty bad and not enough goofy bits to make it very funny. I'm not entirely sure how it got all the hype as the "worst movie of all time" though.. maybe because of Ed Wood, Bela Lugosi, and Vampira. Unfortunately for it, the reasonably adequate filming and partially comprehensible plot keep it from being in contention from winning that title in my book.
I'm so glad I stayed sober enough this time; I couldn't handle Plan 9 a third time.
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